In a development straight out of science fiction—and Knicks desperation—the New York Knicks front office has reportedly launched an ambitious project to clone their 1994 franchise legend, Patrick Ewing, using AI modeling and DNA samples recovered from one of his original sweat-drenched jerseys.
The project, internally codenamed “Operation Big 33,” aims to recreate Ewing in his prime, physically and mentally, to return the Knicks to their long-lost glory. The announcement was made at a hastily organized press conference inside Madison Square Garden, complete with flickering PowerPoint slides, retro footage from the ’90s, and what appeared to be a glowing vat in the background labeled “Prototype E-001.”
Team President Leon Rose spoke with intense conviction. “We’ve tried trades. We’ve tried free agency. We’ve tried rebuilding. Nothing works. So we asked ourselves—what did work? The answer was clear: 1994 Patrick Ewing. So we’re bringing him back. Literally.”
According to team scientists, traces of Ewing’s DNA were extracted from an original Knicks jersey worn during Game 7 of the 1994 Eastern Conference Finals. That jersey, still damp with effort, had been preserved in a vacuum-sealed vault beneath MSG for “just such an occasion,” according to longtime equipment manager Gus Bender.
The team is reportedly working with an advanced biotech firm called “Cloneletics”, known for developing lab-grown calves for European soccer academies. The plan is to combine the genetic data with AI-powered muscle memory simulations, allowing the clone not only to replicate Ewing’s physical dominance but also his post moves, jumper, and shot-blocking instincts.
“We’ve got 3D footage from every game he played,” said Dr. Evelyn Marks, head of Cloneletics. “We’ll upload it directly into his neural drive. He’ll wake up knowing how to drop-step and how much he hates the Chicago Bulls.”
Current Knicks players were caught off guard by the news. When asked about sharing the court with a clone, Jalen Brunson blinked and said, “Wait, like a real clone? That’s… cool, I guess?” RJ Barrett, meanwhile, joked, “As long as Clone Ewing passes me the ball, we’re good.”
Not everyone is thrilled. The NBA Players Association has voiced “ethical concerns,” while the league office has launched a formal review. “We allow a lot of creativity,” said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. “But creating genetically engineered Hall of Famers might be… over the line.”
Patrick Ewing himself, now a college coach, gave a cryptic response when asked for comment. “If they clone me, I better start,” he laughed. “And they better not mess up my fade.”
The Knicks have set the projected “reveal” of Ewing 2.0 for the 2026–2027 season. Fans are already calling it the Return of the King, while skeptics are calling it “Jurassic Barkley.” But one thing’s for sure: in New York, hope never dies—it just gets cloned.
